Tuesday, February 9, 2016

Week 4 Storytelling: You Can't Trust Everyone



You Can’t Trust Everyone
            You have everything you want, you are at the top of your sport, and every college in the nation wants you to play for their institution. This was the life of highly touted recruit, Damien Johnson, the best high school basketball player in the nation. Damien was from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania and played at Lower Merion High School, the same school that produced Kobe Bryant. He stood at 6’8” and 225 lbs. and played small forward/power forward, but what set him apart from the rest of the players in the nation was his overall skill set at the position he played. Damien was not your traditional small forward/power forward combination. He could handle and pass the ball like a point guard, shoot like a shooting guard, slash to the basket like a small forward, plus he rebounded and had post moves like power forwards and centers. He was the complete package, a once in a generation type player who could change the face of any program. The only thing that could slow down his career was the same problem that haunted all of the top talent before him: the people that surrounded him.
            It was the last semester of Damien’s senior year of high school and his team was number one in the state of Pennsylvania with the playoffs right around the corner. His recruiting was on full tilt and he was receiving phone calls, letters, and message at a hectic pace as coaches from North Carolina, Duke, Kentucky, Kansas, and Oklahoma were fighting for him to sign with their program for the next year. The thing that comes with big programs fighting for his commitment is the boosters or donors of those programs willing to push money towards players to give them more motivation to sign with their school. If a player accepts money of any sum from anyone, then their eligibility is revoked and they cannot play collegiate sports anymore. Damien knew of this and had turned down many offers of large amounts of money before; he did not want to risk his collegiate career because of a dumb decision to accept money that he knew he would make down the line in the NBA.
Damien’s family was not the wealthiest, but made enough money to live comfortably. They lived in a decent-size house; it was enough to hold Damien, his little brother, plus their parents. There was not enough worry about money that would tempt Damien to take any sum of money offered to him by any donor. The playoffs were now in full effect as Damien and Lower Merion were the overall number one seed in the playoffs, looking to win a state championship. Damien dominated throughout the playoffs, averaging 25 points per game, 8 rebounds per game, and 7 assist per game, which warranted more attention from everyone including not only coaches, but media outlets, such as ESPN and Fox Sports. He was being compared to Lebron James and Magic Johnson, two of the greatest players to ever play the game of basketball. 
As his popularity grew and the offers rained in, he reminded his parents and his brother not to accept any money of any amount or it would jeopardize his basketball career.  As the semester was coming to an end, National Signing Day was upon Damien. It was his time to make his decision on where he wanted to attend college. He had trimmed down his list to three schools: Villanova, Oklahoma and Michigan St.  Damien ended up choosing Villanova which was his hometown school and he wanted to become the “Hometown Hero.”


A couple of weeks had passed since National Signing Day, and Damien was getting everything squared away before he left to join the team at Villanova at the beginning of the summer. This is when the worst possible news headed Damien’s family way; his father had been laid off at his job. This was such a big blow to his family’s living situation as they would be living off of just one salary instead of two. Somehow, this news caught air and got to a Villanova booster, a long time family friend of Damien’s father. He called Damien’s father and asked for him to meet with him to “talk.”  They met up at a bar in downtown Philadelphia and talked for a while, but towards the end of the conversation, the booster pulled out a check worth one hundred thousand dollars and handed it to Damien’s father. He knew it was wrong to accept this money, but he knew that he could help his family for a good amount of time while he looked for a new job. Damien’s father took the check with him and thanked his friend for the money.
Damien got to Villanova and began summer workouts with the team to prepare for his freshman season. He impressed the coaching staff with everything he did, on and off the court. They were preparing him to start this upcoming season and be the star of the program. The compliance office caught word of Damien’s father accepting the booster’s check, and held an investigation, in which they found the wrongdoing of Damien’s father. This made Damien ineligible to ever compete in collegiate basketball or any collegiate sports. The person who Damien was supposed to trust the most is the one who damaged him the most in the end. Villanova got pushed back into a major setback that affected them down the road. The moral of the story is that no matter whom it is you cannot always trust the people in your corner.

Author Note:
           
     My story is based off using information from The Stupid Monkeys, which is a story from Jakata Tales.  I wanted to use this story because when I read The Stupid Monkeys, it gave me ideas for a story of trust and asking someone to do something for you, but they mess it up. This is something I am familiar with and I know that it can happen to college athletes when their family members take extra benefits from someone else and ruin the career of the athlete. That is how I developed the story of Damien, as he trusted his father to do something very simple and easy, but he still messed up. The Stupid Monkeys: The gardener wanted to spend the holiday in town with his friends, so he thought he could give the task of watering the king's trees to the monkeys who lived there. He asked the Chief of the Monkey's if they could help him out and they agreed. He told the monkeys to give the trees just enough water, but not too much when the sun went down. As the sun went down, the monkeys started to water the trees, but did not know how to figure out when to stop watering the trees. They pulled up each tree to see which ones had long roots and had short roots to know how much water to give them, which, in return, killed the trees. The monkey had a simple task of watering the trees, but did not know when they had given the trees enough water for them to live, so they pulled up the trees and they ended up dying. My goal was to draw the readers in by connecting to the character as each of us can relate to in which he did everything the right way only to be torn down by someone he had put a large amount of trust in.

Bibliography: 

           The Stupid Monkeys, Ellen C. Babbitt (1922)

15 comments:

  1. Great story! I think trust is a unique concept because you can work so long and hard to gain it from someone and then lose it in a single moment. You did a really good job of showing the delicacy of trust and what can happen if you betray it. It is a very realistic story, which I enjoy because it makes it all the more real and tangible. Your story also made me think about money and how it has the ability to turn people into their worst selves. I wish it didn't have such a hold in so many of our lives. Sometimes it can cause such hardship and I think you did a good job of portraying that struggle. great work!

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  2. Wow, what a great story! I was not expecting the end at all! I loved the details you used to describe Damien and his basketball skills. One thing I would recommend is spacing your paragraphs out a little more. I think if you added some more blank space, the story would bee easier on the reader’s eyes. I also think you could add a few more photos so we could picture Damien in our minds better. I like how you left me on the edge of my seat up until the very end of the story. What if Damien found out the booster was actually one of his relatives? You could add a fun plot twist to the very end! I also think a few quotes would add a lot of character as well! Overall, I loved this story and thought you did a fantastic job! Keep up the great work.

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  3. Loved this story! Great job! I loved reading a basketball story during the middle of basketball season! The story was very easy to read. It flowed nicely into each separate part, and also the vocabulary/your choice of words was easy for everyone to understand. Someone without any idea about the NCAA rules and college basketball would easily feel connected with the story. I think adding a photo of a basketball court or a basketball could really help readers be even more connected and involved in the story! I was shocked to read that Damien's father accepted the check knowing that Damien's collegiate basketball career could be at risk. I was expecting that the story, based on the title of the story, would be about Damien's friends and peers. I liked how you put the "trust" aspect on a family member because it makes the readers feel even more remorse for Damien. Great story, you did an awesome job!

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  4. Please read my comments that came to mind while I was reading your story. You should be able to piece together which part of the story I was on when I made the comment!

    (Comments as I read along)

    You sound like you know a lot about basketball, which you probably do. Me on the other hand, I barely know all of the positions played.

    Yup, I’m sure you know a lot about the sport, for sure now. I didn’t know that potential players could lose their opportunity to play professional ball due to taking money… I didn’t even know they were offered money, but it makes sense.

    VILLANOVA.. I know someone that attended this school. I hope he will actually be able to become a hometown hero.

    NOOO DADDY, NO! Why’d he accept it?! Ok, lets see how this plays out.

    Dang, and just like that the future Damien wanted was taken from him by his father. I’m sure his dad feels terrible for making that decision. I wonder how their relationship was after this?

    Great story!

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  5. Gah reading this story killed me! I can't believe that Damien's father would do that to him. From his perspective, he must have felt the pressure to be the bread winner and support his family. Being laid off from a job must cause a tremendous of stress especially since he had a family to support. But to risk your son's future career? After everything he has worked for? I can't imagine any parent doing that to their child. This story truly revealed temptation at its finest. I wonder how the conversation between Damien and his father played out. Would he hate his father? I'd be furious if my father ever jeopardized my career in the medical field. I wish there was dialogue in the story to convey the emotions between Damien and his father. It could provide a different perspective on character development. Good job on writing your story. Once again you truly stuck to your theme of sports and relating the them of the story to your weekly readings.

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  6. Hey Cody! You did a great job of interpreting the original story and making it your own! I remember from your intro that you love basketball, so it was cool to see that knowledge at work! I think that you also did a good job of showing how trust is such a delicate thing in our lives. Even those you trust most in life don’t always make the best decisions and can break that trust. The ending made me really mad; because of all people Damien’s dad should have had his back! I think that maybe adding another photo could add more emotion to the story, but the Villanova logo was a good choice too. I do wonder what Damien ends up doing after becoming ineligible to play collegiate basketball? I think adding that could be a cool part of your story too! Can’t wait to come back and read more of your work though!

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  7. Hi Cody, I liked how you tied the original tale to a story about basketball. It is really neat that you were able to take an old story and relate it to modern times! The only thing I would change in your story is to add some quotes! Quotes will keep your readers' attention and will add more depth to your stories. I would also suggest either changing the background or the test of your site. The body text is grey on a grey background so it hurts my eyes a little bit to read it. It also looks like part of your background image is cut off. Is there any way that you can fix that? What is it supposed to be? Otherwise, great story! I wonder if Damien ever ended up forgiving his father later in life? Or did he never forgive his father and they ended up never talking again? That would be interesting to find out!

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  8. This was a great story Cody! I’m sure you are a big sports and basketball fan if after reading this story. So that is great that you got to write a story that was probable fun for you! This was very well written and I really enjoyed reading it. This is a hot topic as always in collegiate sports, the possibility of a school paying someone off. I like how at the end of the story you tell us the moral reason behind writing it. I never like unhappy ending to a story, so I liked that you put a lesson in as the last sentence so we understand the purpose of telling the story. I found it sad that it was Damien’s father that accepted the money and not even Damien. It shows how extreme situation can cause people to do extreme things, especially when money is involved. Keep up the great writing!

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  9. Hey Cody. I like your portfolio and the fact that all of the stories seem to have a overlying theme in that some person must overcome a difficult challenge. The title of your story grabbed my attention and I wanted to keep reading further to figure out what exactly happened. After reading the story, I was filled with mixed feelings. Damien's father was in a tough position in which he really needed the money but could also jeopardize his son's career. I can't imagine the anguish the son must have been in when he found out he was banned from playing basketball. I also read the Jataka Tales so it's interesting to see the kind of story you came up with. Your author's note was very informative in explaining the original story as well as your thoughts and the overall writing process. I think everyone has felt the feeling of betrayal from someone close to them and this story shows how detrimental that can be to someone. Nice job!

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  10. This story makes me sad! I know events like this happen all the time and it is so sad the talent that is lost by mistakes like these. I love how you again brought this story back to sports- something almost everyone can relate to in some way. I think you could add more to the suspense of the university finding out about the money. That would just add more intensity to your story. I thought your author's note was very informative and helped me to understand the background of your retelling. Good work!

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  11. Hi Cody,

    This was a great story. I am visiting this site as one of my free blogging assignments. I am an Indian Epics student so I am not familiar with the readings. But, It sounds like they are similar in content to the Ramayana and Mahabharata readings assignments my course. First of all I would like to say I like how you described your portfolio readings in the introduction. You gave a brief and concise blurb about each one. The title you can’t trust anyone sounded interesting. I can take a few pointers from you on that.

    The story was interesting and sounded pretty factual. I can see that happening to someone. It was sad to see that his father ended his career before it actually got started. The ending was a shocker. The only suggestions I can make are what if you had some dialogue between the father and Damien. I can’t even imagine what his Dad would have said to him. Would Damien have understood once he found out his Dad accepted the money because he lost his job?

    Your author’s notes were very informative and gave me a little background of why your chose this writing style. Good job!

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  12. Cody,

    Greetings from the Indian Epics Class. I hope you are doing well. My name is Sean.

    I really like the neutral grey background for your portfolio. It is very pleasing to the eye. I also really liked the picture on the left hand side, it looks like a rock but keeps the audience guessing so that is cool. It’s just ambiguous enough to keep the mystery alive.

    The text is kinda hard to read. I do like the double spacing format, but due to the light color of the text it blends into the grey too much. Also the text is so small that it makes it hard to read. Might want to consider a different color for the text and increasing the font size. For those of us that are older we appreciate the help!

    2nd paragraph: “...phone calls, letters, and message…” might want to make that messages.
    4th Paragraph, to match the format of the other paragraphs this should be indented as well.

    This story is really good. It had a clear goal for the main character and there was a clear conflict that arose. I felt like the narration style of the story kept me as an audience member from really feeling connected to the characters though. I wonder what would happen if there was some dialog and some scenes that really brought the reader in to experience these events with the character rather than just being told about them..

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  13. Good job on your story. I read this story and your first one. I choose to comment no this one because of the connecting I have with it. Also I really liked the title and can relate to that alone. The title is what really first caught my attention. I have had to deal with a lot of people lying to me. I am also a big fan of doing your own work. Along with what you put into it is what you get out of it. I also learn the best when I do things myself. As I read your story I also made a connection with Damien and sports. I played soccer at a community college. It really is all about team work and trusting one another. I hate to think that all the hard work Damien put in went to wast. All because of something he didn't even accept. If I could I would change the ending of this story for Damien. I have also heard of this happening to other athletes but it is usually them who accept the offer. Great story though, you did a good job of capturing emotion and sports related issues.

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  14. Hi Cody, this is a great story! I am sure you are a big basketball fan after reading this story. I like the details you used to describe Damien’s skills. Your writing style is so great. I really was not expecting the ending at all! .how can that happen? Damien’s father would do that to him. I can’t believe any parent can do that to their child. I know that Damien's father was in a tough position in which he really needed the money but could also jeopardize his son's career. I am also wondering what Damien did when he found out that he was banned from playing basketball? Did he hate his dad? Or did he forgive his father?. Money sometimes has the ability to turn people into their worst selves. Overall I loved this story and you did an awesome job! Hope you having a great semester Cody!

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  15. This was a really unique and creative way to retell this story. I never would have thought to retell as a HS athlete trusting his family not to take any bribes, but I totally fits with the original stories lesson. I liked all of the background detail and the descriptive details. I found it pretty sad that the dad did accept a sum of money... but at the same time I can understand why he did it. I just hope that this instance didn't totally ruin the relationship between the dad and son or even between the whole family. I wish that your story had kept going beyond the investigation and getting kicked off the team... I would have liked to see some dialogue between the dad and son and I would have hoped the son would have been understanding. What a rough situation for that family. It just goes to show that actions can have repercussions.

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